“Love at first sight” is a phrase commonly tossed around in the modern world. The concept is found in popular works such as Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, where teenagers Juliet and Romeo meet at a masquerade party and immediately fall in love. They quickly profess their feelings and end up dying for each other (sorry, spoilers)– causing skeptics to critique the legitimacy of their romantic feelings. This brings us to the ultimate question: is love at first sight possible?
“Love” is defined by Merriam-Webster as “strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties.” The key part of this definition is the “personal ties”–basically, love is contingent on personally knowing somebody. This would seemingly discredit the idea of love at first sight, as it is impossible to get to know somebody by looking at them once. Love is typically a feeling that builds over time, and it requires a genuine emotional connection.
Still, a large portion of the population maintains their belief in the concept, and thus there must be something driving it. According to the Royal Institution, a British scientific organization, a 2004 study reports that approximately two out of three people in the United States claim to have experienced love at first sight. After further research and analysis, the Institution concluded that although love at first sight is “not as deep as…long-term romantic love,” it is real. Despite this, love at first sight is more a spark of interest than a connection or a bond: it’s a “phenomenon that drives people to want to know more.”
This brings us to the concept of physical attraction. The important thing to note is that physical attraction is not the same as love–it is entirely possible to find a person attractive without being in love with them, and attraction can be the precursor to genuine romantic feelings. However, the two are easy to confuse, especially in a society that some may argue over-romanticizes far too frequently.
According to research done by the National Library of Medicine, “true” love is dependent on four factors. While attraction is one of them, it cannot carry a relationship alone: instead, trust, respect, and connection are also needed. The Library also suggests that “proximity, familiarity, [and] positive shared experiences” are necessary to create and sustain a romantic relationship. This also seemingly negates the idea of love at first sight: in contrast, love requires people to know and understand each other, which is a complex yet essential factor that cannot be established upon mere eye contact.
In addition to this, media plays a significant role in furthering and reinforcing the idea of love at first sight. While there may not be very many movies where the protagonists fall madly for each other the first time they lock eyes, various movies and TV shows have forged the notion that you don’t need to actually know or even meet someone to love them. Think of the typical high school scenario: a girl sees a guy walking down the hall, and suddenly everything is in slow-motion, and she just knows that he is the one for her. While this makes for good television, it’s important to remember that love–or legitimate romantic feelings–is dependent on an actual emotional connection.
If we take the previously mentioned research and analyses as true, it is clear that a romantic relationship is unable to form off of physical attraction alone. Science-wise, this means that love at first sight is impossible, but sometimes there are certain events that seem to transcend logic. In any case, it’s fine to be optimistic: science can’t always quite explain how we feel, and who knows? Maybe that cute person across the room really is the one for you.