The best thing since sliced:
Skater: Skateboards
Surfer: Cheese

Skater, I didn’t know that you could slice skateboards. Isn’t that pretty expensive? From my experience, only the edgy pop punk kids break their skateboards in a haze of sticky skater sweat and ripped up knees. Or is “slicing” some new skating lingo phrase like “boneless fingerflip on the volcano” or a “tre flip fakie on the pyramid hip” which I’m pretty sure don’t actually translate to English? I’m going to give you 10 points, but I’m not exactly sure about that one. Do you happen to have a copy of “The Skater-English Dictionary” on you? We can translate together.
Hey Surfer. Straight off the bat, I sincerely love your answer. How sly. How subtle. How tongue-in-cheese. Only those of us with advanced degrees in potty humor will really get what you’re saying, will pick up what you’re putting down, will be able to walk the walk while you talk the talk, you get me? You posed, although in a different format, one of life’s greatest questions. Who cut the cheese? But instead of merely repeating this tired old joke, you challenged us to move on, to find something beyond what we know and explore that instead. Your philosophical might is astounding. I think I’ve found your life’s calling. So I ask to the reader as well, what is the best thing since sliced cheese? I applaud you in a circular formation while shedding a tear at the onion I’m cutting and awarding you 60 points.

Better safe than:
Skater: Dead
Surfer: Fun
Welcome back to my good graces Skater. What a profoundly morbid statement from a freshman skater. You, who presumably have not a care in the world, as your course load is light and so is your attitude, issued something so universally truthful even us hardened seniors feel moved. Wow. Better safe than dead. Let that sink in. What has caused your cynicism at such a pubescent age? Why do you have my type of humor instead of your peers light, irrelevant, inappropriate, and mildly sexist humor? What has happened to you? Personally, I think it’s all those Disney movies. Do they need to have a parent die in every movie? Kids just aren’t ready for that emotional toll, one that spontaneous musical numbers and predictable plots just can’t fix. Thanks for bringing attention to this very important Disney fallacy. Not every parent must die. Just the ones that do to advance the plot. 60 points.
Really Surfer? Better safe than fun? Blasphemy. Everyone here knows that only the safest actions are the most fun. Jumping off a bridge? So yesterday. Flame throwers? Don’t even get me started. Mr. Davidson’s liquid nitrogen lab demo without gloves, safety goggles, or aprons? It’s your funeral. Those things aren’t safe or fun. But I’m sure that if you give me time to think about it, I can come up with many examples of things that are both safe and fun. Like sitting at home or in your parents’ underground nuclear war bunker located somewhere undetectable on most satellite maps. Sorry, I lost my train of thought. I’ll give you 20 points because I’m nice and I’m playing it safe.

Skater: 70 points
Surfer: 80 points

Congratulations, Surfer. You win nothing!