March is a month filled with… well, not that much. To remedy or prevent any potential March boredom, here is a compilation of jokes from students and teachers at SDA.

 

“What did the fork say to its injured friend? Get well spoon.” – Junior Nick Checchia

 

“Why are there only 239 beans in Irish bean soup? Because if there was one more, it would be too farty.” – Junior Cassidy Mayeda

 

“Year one P.E. That was a joke.” – Junior Chelsea Cardenas

 

“What did one statue say to the other statue? Istatue?” – Senior Neeloo Rahbari

 

“What do you call a bear in the rain? A drizzly bear.” – Junior Audree Evans

 

“A plane crashes on the border between Mexico and the United States. Where do you bury the survivors? You don’t bury survivors.” – Freshman Rachel Nerenberg

 

“Why can’t two regenerations of The Doctor ever meet one another? Because it would cause a pair-o’-docs!” – Junior Peri Anderson

 

“What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall? Dam.” – Senior Marc Vela

 

“Why did the banana go to the doctor?  He wasn’t peeling well.” – Senior Clayton Bishop

 

“What lives in a tree and is dangerous? A monkey with a machine gun.” – Junior Josh Proal

 

“Knock, knock. Who’s there? To. To who? To whom.” – Junior Rachel Terry

 

“What do you call a deer with no eyes? No ideer.” – Junior Shayna Levinson

 

“Have you seen the movie ’Constipation’? It hasn’t come out.” – Junior Manon Wogahn

 

“Dear algebra, stop asking us to find where your x went. We don’t know why she left you

either.” – Junior Katrina Olsen

“What does the astronaut see in his frying pan? An unidentified frying object.” – Junior Todd

Petrassi

“Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the ‘p’ is silent.” – Senior Taylor Sills

 

“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.” – Sophomore Jackie Mancilla

 

“What is Whole Food’s second name? Whole Paycheck.” – Senior Shiv Mathur

 

“What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull dozer” – Junior Jamie Sebastian

 

“What did the red light say to the green light? Don’t look. I’m changing.” – Junior Katrina Olsen

 

“Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crummy.” – Junior Lizzy Knox

 

“There was a woman who got into a shark attack at the beach. It’s fine because she came out in a one piece.” – Junior Calvin Borchers

 

“Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed. She told him, ‘Tomorrow morning I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from zero to 200 in six seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!’ The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box giftwrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.” – Senior Craig Spiller

 

“Why are graveyards so full? Because people are dying to get in.” – Senior Elliot Horen

 

“What is yellow and dangerous? Shark infested banana pudding!” – Junior Nathaniel Glass

 

“Knock knock. Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn’t say banana? It’s a classic.” – Junior Shannon O’Donnell

 

“What does a nosy pepper do? Gets jalapeno business.” – Senior Hunter Brown

 

“What do plants have for lunch? A light meal.” – Senior Weston Braun

 

“A panda walks into a restaurant and orders his food. He sits down, eats his full, then gets up and pulls out a gun, shoots, and leaves. He comes back the next day and the manager asks him why he did what he did. The panda pulls out a dictionary and tells the manager to look up ‘panda.’ The manager does, and it reads, ‘Panda: a large black and white animal that lives in China. Eats shoots and leaves.’” – Junior Lauren Nelson

 

“How does my dog with no nose smell? Awful.” – Sophomore Parker Lack

 

“What’s the hardest tea to handle? Reali-tea.” – Sophomore Megan McEldowney

 

“Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: ‘Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.’ Watson replied: ‘I see millions and millions of stars.’ Holmes said: ‘And what do you deduce from that?’ Watson replied: ‘Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life.’ And Holmes said: ‘Watson, you idiot. It means that somebody stole our tent.’” – Freshman Courtney Stead

 

“A guy walks into a bar and says ‘Ow.’” – Freshman June Hall

 

“Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road? Because he didn’t have any guts.” – French teacher Holly Richerd

 

“I got about as much attention as a white crayon.” – Sophomore Sabrina Barry

 

“A dyslexic man walks into a bra.” – Sophomore Sydney Busic

 

 

“Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road? It ran out of juice!” – Sophomore Maddie Biehl

 

“Sure, I’d tell you a good chemistry joke, but all the good ones Argon.” – Junior Sierra Zounes

 

“What’s black white and red all over? A penguin holding its breath.” – Junior Sean Whalen

 

“Hey girl, what’s your sine? It must be pi over two, because you’re the one.” – Junior Adrian Contreras

 

“Did you know that if you watch the movie 127 Hours backwards, it is an uplifting story of an amputee who finds his new arm in the desert?” – Senior Patrick Canler

 

“Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine” – Senior Nick Ferreirae

 

“Where do little cows eat their lunch at school? In the calfateria!” – Junior Chloe Rock

 

“How many therapists does it take to change a light bulb? One, but only if the light bulb wants to change.” – Junior Hayley Earnest

 

“Why did the Kleenex box go to his therapist? He had lots of tissues.” – Freshman Allie Manis

 

“Knock, knock. Who’s there? Panther. Panther who? Panther no pants, I’m going swimming!” – Freshman Rachel Freeman Cook

 

“Knock, knock. Who’s there? Miley Cyrus’ hair. Miley Cyrus’ hair, who? Just kidding, it’s not there anymore.” – Freshman Emily Shane

 

“What did the seahorse say to the clownfish? Stop clownin’ around.” – Freshman Bekah Sullivan
“What did the dog say to the tree? Stop barking.” – Freshman Mei Ling Mirow
“What do you get when you cross a centipede and a parrot? A walkie-talkie.” – Freshman Riley Glatts

 

“How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None.” – Senior Sarah Gallagher