Today’s reality shows have rather high stakes: money, fame, glory, and the occasional opportunity to develop cirrhosis (that’s right, Snooki, drinking leads to liver disease) are all fair incentives to participate in the show. But there is something lacking in these programs – ugly people and their feeble attempts to become pretty.  However, that’s about to change, with the up-and-coming program brought by Entertainment Television (E!), called “Bridalplasty.”

As the name suggests, the proposed show, premiering on Nov. 28, is to combine everyone’s favorite reality show elements: weddings and plastic surgery. It’s like “The Real Housewives of Atlanta,” only with young fiancées who aren’t already embittered by the harsh realities of menopause and children, yet.

The weekly challenges revolve around wedding planning, such as writing vows or assembling seating charts. Each challenge winner receives the minor plastic surgery of her choice from her “wish list” (like rhinoplasty or liposuction), and the ultimate victor is granted the rest of her “wish list” surgeries and her dream wedding. Oh, and the grooms don’t see the changes until they lift the bride’s veil on their special day. With a winning formula like that, what could possibly go wrong?

 Call me schadenfreudistic, or even sadistic, cruel, apathetic, happy when others suffer (thanks, thesaurus!), but the potential of a botched surgery is what’s really going to keep me tuned in. There is no greater fun than the prospect of watching other people contract botulism. (Tip: watch for the women with paralyzed faces – it’s not Botox!)

This show is what the American people want, even more than programs like “Extreme Home Makeover” and their unrealistic hopes of rewarding those who are altruistic. Here is a show that the common person can relate to. These women, like us, have the same insecurities about their appearance.  We can at least take comfort in the notion that our lack of self-confidence will never escalate into the point where we would humiliate ourselves on national television to fix these insecurities.

There is nothing more American than vain women and their perpetual goals to attain perfection; nothing more American than Bridezillas in strangle-mode screaming for their day to be perfect when it never can be, nothing more American than the inevitable divorce this show will be the catalyst of – 50 percent of marriages in the United States end that way. And, lastly, there is nothing more American than the millions of apathetic viewers tuning in each week to watch this play out.

 This is the kind of program that Philo T. Farnsworth must have had in mind when he invented the modern television. Or maybe he’s turning in his grave. It’s hard to tell with dead people.