Outside, rain pitter-pattered on the ground and fog hung low over SDA Monday—the perfect weather for getting cozy and discussing a good book. SDA Principal Bjorn Paige played funky tunes as he prepared for his discussion of “Unselfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All-About-Me World” by Michele Borba. While the turnout was small, there was plenty of fruitful insight to go around (and plenty of donkey-shaped gingerbread cookies too).

“Unselfie” offers parents tips on how to cultivate empathy in their children through a nine-step program. Empathy is a key predictor of success and can be learned and practiced at any age. According to Paige, “Unselfie” is getting “more relevant every day” because of the current political and social divides wracking our country.

Paige said that empathy in kids is not as hard to find at SDA compared to other schools, but should be discussed nonetheless. As he read through the book, he said he was pleasantly surprised to see that many of the tips Borba offers for increasing empathy are already incorporated into SDA activities and community.

English and Child Development Studies teacher Christine Corrao described SDA as having a “wide berth for the weirdo,” which she greatly appreciates. However, some parents wondered whether kids were truly being prepared for the “real world” after having grown up in the liberal, accepting bubble that is SDA. One parent suggested doing some sort of exchange with other high schools that largely consist of students with more conservative views.

Paige then brought up a powerful part of “Unselfie” in which a young boy gives his coat to a homeless man. Borba described the moment as a turning point for the boy. He had truly shown empathy when he took the coat off of his own back and the moment stuck with the boy into adulthood as an example of how he wanted to live.

Paige asked the parents and students around the table if they had ever experienced any such “turning point” in which they discovered empathy. The question had no clear answer, but everyone resoundingly agreed that receiving empathy is just as important as giving it, and that people could experience that “turning point” by receiving empathy as well.

Overall, the group concluded by discussing general tips for parents and children alike―be a role model, be friendly, be accepting of everyone, and be willing to stand up for others. Also, sit down and have a real conversation with someone. Maybe even come to Paige’s next book club meeting. You may be surprised about all of the interesting things you learn.