Many students braved the surprisingly chilly mid-afternoon weather, wet grass, and muddy jeans to witness the opening of Comedy Sportz last Friday. The cast appeared in the open amphitheater, wearing uniforms of white shirts with navy sleeves and mischievous expressions. The referee, wearing his black and white striped shirt, stood in the middle of SDA’s two teams, waiting patiently to blow the whistle at the right moment.
After the whistle was blown, the lighthearted voice of senior Kira Harland provided a humorous contrast to the ominously low voice that usually gets cast for Comedy Sportz. To demonstrate a groaner foul—a joke so obnoxiously lame and punny that it causes one to groan—Harland said the following line: “What do skeletons say before eating dinner? Bone appetite!” The entire audience made the following lethargic response: “Unngguah.”
Fortunately, no groaner fouls occurred beside this demonstrative example, allowing the audience to preserve the use of their vocal cords for laughing maniacally. A handful of brown bag fouls—a grotesquely inappropriate remark that would make a 13-year-old boy giggle—did occur. The punishment for such an offense was for performers to wear a trash can over his or her head. Junior Dhyana Buckley nearly got swallowed by the trash can she wore after making a risqué comment that will be omitted from this article. Junior Riley Rowe, who was also punished this way, said of the trash can, “It smelled like bananas and old people.”
Besides watching players wear smelly trash cans, another highlight of the show was the game “Mega Replay.” Every time the referee shouted reverse or forward, the performers were forced to do the same scene over again. For this game, Rowe kissed senior Mitchell Chivetta on the cheek, repeatedly, while pretending to be his overbearing mother. This proved to be very prudent of the players because nothing works better than bromance, to captivate an audience of high school students.
Another notable moment was the “Good, Bad, and Worse” advice game. Three performers pretended to be a different character. Then they answered the audience’s questions with unique advice. When asked to introduce himself, senior Daniel Alguire declared, “I am the emotion of love.” Senior Logan Mcginley introduced himself as Jim Kardashian, and proceeded to respond to the audience’s dating questions with the statement, “I only date football players. Female football players.”
Speaking of females, there was a considerable gap in the female to male ratio. Rowe said, “I’ve always wondered why there aren’t more girl players. We have a bit more this year but it’s always kind of been that way. Maybe they’re intimidated by us men!” So ladies, if you think you’re funny (and we all know you are) then go out there, sign up for Comedy Sportz, and defend the honor of female humor.
Aside from the tragic lack of womenly participation, it proved to be a very enjoyable Friday. The turnout was huge. The players voices were easy to hear, and everyone laughed until they cried. As a promotional event no one spent a penny on this performance, but if they had it would have been money well spent.
