Where’s the Best Water?

I left my fourth period Journalism classroom on a mission to go around school and objectively determine the best water fountain. To find out the water temperatures, I borrowed a food thermometer from Scott Huntley, the Culinary Arts teacher.

After doing so, I began in the p-quad. The green fountains in the p-quad range from 80-82 degrees and taste exactly how you’d expect them to taste: stale, like two-month-old saltine crackers. Surprisingly enough, these fountains are far from the worst at SDA.

The next fountain I traveled to was behind the weight training room, next to the lower baseball field. This once red fountain was arguably the second best fountain last year, but this year, it put out a disappointing 81.5 degree stream, right in the median range for the p-quad. The water from this fountain tastes better than the ones from the p-quad, but because of the temperature and location, I’d skip this one.

I came upon the holy grail of water fountains in the Weight Training room. Lady Gaga’s Bad Romance played in the background while sweaty kids chased one another around the classroom and bragged about the amount they could bench. When I took weight training, this water fountain was by far the highlight of the class, cascading chilling 52 degree water that tastes like what you’d get out of your refrigerator at home.

As I walked out of the weight training room, I spotted two striped fountains in front of the mosaic cafe. My initial testing gave me a scalding 93 degrees and sipping the water burned the taste buds off of my tongue. The subsequent measurements give between 90 and 93 degrees; I would pass this one by even if dehydrated.

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Next I came upon the blue fountain behind the mosaic and next to the art gallery. The water here is a blistering 90 degrees and tasted like the water from a plastic bottle that you left out in the sun all day. This fountain is definitely a contributing factor to the “dying artist” trope.

Next, I ventured to the fountains by the boys locker room. There isn’t really anything exemplary about these fountains except for their proximity to the PAC. At 80 degrees these fountains are average at best; the water tastes alright, although I wouldn’t go out of my way to get a drink here.

The fountains between the theater and band room are worth noting if only for the fact that they exist. One of these fountains is broken, and the other doesn’t always work, so I omitted these from my review.

I finally ventured to the new math and science building. The fountains on the first floor put out 60 degree water. I walked upstairs and expected a similar reading. The lower of the two upstairs fountains clocked in at 60 degrees, and I felt like my search was over. Then, I decided to take a leap of faith and measure the taller fountain; the results knocked me off my feet. The fountain put out water at a frigid 48 degrees. I have found it at last, the best water in school. With my quest complete I set off to grab my water bottle, only to realize I had left it in my car.