“American Horror Story:” Season Six Episode Five

This just in. Episode five was the finale- or at least it feels like it. Finally actor Evan Peters graces us with his presence and in the form of an 18 century gay art collector- what could be better?

Its revealed that Edward Mott, played by Evan Peters and ancestor to season four’s psychotic villain Dandy Mott, was the very first resident of the house and is the one who built it. In real time at the interview booth some monotone voiced historian is narrating Edward Mott’s untimely demise in the house. I can’t tell if the historian was meant to sound so weird or if it had some kind of purpose that I didn’t catch; nevertheless, she was annoying.

This episode was rated mature due to gay porn with Edward Mott and his servant (the scandal!) and to murder- isn’t it sad when the least gruesome murder in this shows is when someone only gets impaled and then burned to death?

Anyway, the dying grass moon is is finally upon us and, wow no surprise, Matt and Shelby are still in the house, and even bigger shocker, the Butcher is surrounding them and has a bonfire ready to sacrifice them. Not to mention Flora is finally “safe” but she’s about to be roasted with the rest of them. This episode was by far probably the scariest. In the house, when shelby and Matt are trying to figure out how they’re going to escape the Butcher, there’s a sequence of Pigman jumpscares and one of the Chen girls (one of the daughters of the chinese immigrants from the previous episode) full on attacks Flora and as the viewer you get quick shots of a veiny white face, completely black eyes, stringy black hair and to make it worse she’s crab walking on the ceiling. Flora is scared? Guess what, i’m scared too.

Thankfully Shelby, Matt, and Flora escape death by Butcher with the help of Edward Mott- Evan Peters here to save the day! Its also hilarious because the only reason he’s saving them is because he’s wants solitude and if they die there’ll be three more ghosts running around disrupting his me time. Also can we point out that creepy snapchat filter stuff that was going on every time he turned around?

Sadly, Edward doesn’t take them farther than the middle of the forest, but at least they lost the Butcher. While wandering around the forest looking for a road Matt, Shelby and Flora get kidnapped by hillbillies. They’re brought to redneck headquarters and good news: Elias is alive! Bad news: the hillbillies have been turning his limbs into beef jerky. They work for the Butcher and it’s not long before they’re delivering Matt, Shelby, and Flora to her. Matt, in an act of heroism, is able to kill one of the hillbillies but they get mad and as revenge they cut off Shelby’s foot- try doing yoga on that leg now Shelby. Shelby, Matt and Flora are so close to being sacrificed until- plot twist- all of the Butchers followers turn on her and give our protagonists a chance to escape.

While Shelby is minus one foot and all of them will have PTSD for the rest of their lives they get away, and it feels like the season’s over but this is episode five and there are at least nine episodes in this season- but what else can happen?

Tune in next Wednesday to see how these people’s lives can be ruined even more in the next episode of “American Horror Story” season six.