So we’ve all been asked “The Question:” the “Where are you going/What will you be doing/Who will you be” question. May it be from parents, teachers, friends, foes, uncles, grandmothers or strangers on the street, someone has asked you.

Some of you are being herded into the “Doctor” or “Lawyer” pen. Others may actually know what they want from their futures. But this is a call out to those undeclared majors, the ones who wiggle around, make vague arm gestures, and slip away when confronted with “The Question.”

Don’t worry, young ones, you are not alone. Here are some replies that will let you be snarky and impressive simultaneously. Hopefully they’ll help you get by until you come across your self-discovery at your own time.

• Response: “I plan to further study my interest in agnoiology.”

Translation: “I think I’ll spend my time thinking about things I really can’t know, i.e. what job I want when I’m only [insert age here].”

• Response: “Lately, introspective agriology has appealed to me as a viable career pathway.”

Translation: “I’m gonna think about uncivilized beings, namely myself/inner demons.”

• Response: “Pyroballogy has always been an interest of mine; I may like to make a career of it.”

Translation: “Eh, maybe I’ll play with fire, balls and stuff, you know, the usual.”

• Response: “I am thinking of becoming a personal pogonologist.”

Translation: “I’ll spend my days growing a decent beard. Maybe spend about thirty minutes a day inspecting, combing, and serenading it in the mirror.”

• Response: “I have always been a misologist at heart so I’ll follow that.”

Translation: “I’ve always hated learning. No more. I’m done.”

• Response: “My future may contain a real life study of penology.”

Translation: “I may end up in prison.”