Trump Tries To Ban TikTok

 Since the creation of the glorious app TikTok, the app has been a way for many people to spread recent news or awareness on pressing topics. Such as the recent protests happening all across the nation, to some local heartwarming news. This app has been a way of free speech for many people and now that it will possibly be taken down people are panicking. President Donald Trump tried to ban Tik Tok after a big group of people on the app informed everyone that you can reserve tickets to his rallies for free.

Many people reserved seats at his Tulsa, Oklahoma rally back in March, but purposely never went, so his rally was very empty. Since then, Trump has made many attempts to try and ban TikTok but they responded saying that  “[Trump] paid no attention to facts, dictated terms of an agreement without going through standard legal processes, and tried to insert itself into negotiations between private businesses..” writes Bobby Allyn with NPR.

After, Trump said that he set Sept. 15 for a US company to buy TikTok or else he would shut down the app in the country. Trump has said that he wants to ban it for security reasons because it allows the Chinese government access to our internet search history and our location. The only thing they are going to find is how to spell words we learned in 3rd grade but forgot how to spell and are too embarrassed to ask someone.

The data it collects is the same as Google, Facebook, and Apple. “In fact, many fitness apps were banned from use in the military for tracking location data, but we did not ban them from all U.S. citizens,” said the University of Notre Dame technology professor Kirsten Martin. But, luckily, there is still hope that we can watch random people scream at walls and tell funny jokes because, among a plethora of companies wanting to buy TikTok, Microsoft is one of them.

All of this seems like a lot to take in, I know. But, don’t you think that Trump should have banned other things? For your sake, I have compiled a list of things that I think President Donald Trump should have banned instead.

Anything made out of denim that is not clothes– I understand you may want that country feel in your home or as accessories, but there is honestly no need for people to be wearing denim cowboy boots or have a denim pillow sitting on their couch. It just looks like you cut up your jeans and decided “hey, why don’t I make an abomination to society and make this into a pillow.”

Axe Body Spray-Why do you feel the need to smell like “Anarchy”, or “Gold”, or “Dark Temptation”. What is that even supposed to smell like? A middle school dance? And, why does the only thing that comes to mind when I smell this product is a middle school kid named Kyle who I’m convinced can’t smell because he puts on way too much? Anyone who uses this product has no self-control and will stand in their bathroom and spray it on themselves for a minute straight. They walk out of their room thinking they really did something.

Sparkling Water-This drink tastes like TV static. And, plus if you drink one that is labeled lemon, there is never any lemon flavoring in it. It’s like the product was manufactured next to a lemon grove and they claimed its lemon-flavored. And then you burp and you get that tingly feeling in your nose and it makes your eyes water and your head hurt. Then you ask yourself, was it really worth it? to go through all of this pain for a glass of mediocre at best water?

Pineapple Pizza- Fruit should never be on pizza, and even if there should be an exception why did they have to be pineapple, it’s not even one of the best fruits. You’re telling me that pineapple and hot cheese with tomato sauce sound good to you? That sounds like the absolute worst combination of any two foods. Whoever came up with the idea that pineapple should go on pizza should be punished by having to watch all 4 seasons of Riverdale without stopping.

Mosquitoes– I think collectively as a society we can all agree that Mosquitoes are the absolute worst. They bring you nothing but pain and itchy-ness, and they can’t even pollinate our flowers as bees do. they just suck the blood out of you and leave. Not to mention they even carry illness’ like the Zika virus and the West Nile virus. And, they are impossible to kill so they just keep “biting” you, and none of the anti-itch creams ever work and it always smells so bad. 

Vests- Where are the sleeves on vests, it’s not like a vest will keep you warm if you put one on. If you are really trying to stay warm you will grab a jacket with sleeves like a normal human being. They don’t even look that cool, if you look up the word vests on Google and look at pictures, they all look like the old man from “Up” would wear it. I can never picture myself or seeing anyone wearing a vest and not looking like a retired old man on his way to the golf course on a Sunday afternoon. On the off chance that someone would look cute in a vest, you think to yourself, maybe, just maybe, I can pull this look off. Then you remember that you aren’t going to be starring in the 2009 Disney/Pixar hit movie about an old man traveling in a floating house with a boy scout and talking dog.