In an attempt to redefine its image and trump neighboring schools, SDA has rebalanced the budget to redirect textbook money toward providing luxuries for the students.The gym will get a makeover, which will create a spa for each gender in the locker rooms. The introduction of the water polo team last year has prompted construction of an underground pool below the gym.

In a surprise move by the transportation department, school buses will be replaced with limos staffed with drivers/chauffeurs, and pro makeup and hair artists will be hired to make sure each student looks dazzling before school every day.

Several classrooms will be transformed into dressing rooms. There will be a room with chairs and mirrors for girls to apply makeup, hence reducing mirror traffic in the girls restroom.

Each sports team will receive doctors, trainers, and a reporter assigned to cover all events. Robotics, Debate, Mustang Minds, and ComedySportz will receive these benefits as well.

“I’m so glad we can finally be better than those preppy CCA and Torrey Pines kids!” Principal M. Competence said. All construction on the proposed buildings will begin within the month, so all renovations will be completed by the start of the new term.